March 03, 2004
A letter
Dear The Democratic Party,
Congratulations on selecting your nominee! We made the decision four weeks ago, and we'd hoped you'd hurry up and get it over with a bit faster, but we're glad that you've finally finished. Now we can stop giving you all this free coverage. We'll give you about an hour for the convention, but it's not really a news event, so that's about it. Paid spots only from here on out! Man, thanks for not making this difficult by pushing the final decision off til the convention---if you'd done that, we'd have to give you free press until July. You really saved our bacon on that one!
Love,
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